ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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