yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Randomize