she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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