apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
