You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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