I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I'm too high and old for this...
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
