guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
