If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
jump out the window naked night went bad
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
