NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
