"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
