I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
