Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
