I looked at my own cervix.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
