Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
