The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize