so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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