this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
