Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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