i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize
