let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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