moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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