Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I still have a little drunk in my system
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
