we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
