He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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