Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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