i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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