Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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