i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
