Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
