Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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