captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
