I need help removing her.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
