i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Is it because I queefed?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
