Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
