maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
