Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
