After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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