I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
