i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
