If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
