Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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