If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
