My room smells like vodka and shame
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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