Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
