What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Are we still banned from the library?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
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