that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
did i just pee glitter
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
