Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
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