He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize