We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Randomize
