I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i was born a porn star she said
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
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