i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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