Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
