I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
