Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize