So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
