Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
