my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Everyone says I win the strip club
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
