i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
