Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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