I just cut my nipple shaving
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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