I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize